Strategy number five from our series on The Power of Focus is "Saying No To Toxic People". You just have to get rid of the doom and gloomers that may be in your life. If the people around aren't helping achieve success then they are working against your efforts to achieve success. This could dampen your success motivation and slow you down if you aren't careful and discerning.

Yep. You know them. Those people that constantly complain how their lives are mess and that life just doesn't give them a break. Toxic people of those chronic whiners and complainers about all that is wrong around them and YOU. Toxic people will bring you down!

Do you know someone, anyone whose not so subtle cynicism takes everyone opportunity it has to rain your parade. You may be trying to celebrate the achievement of one of your success motivation goals or perhaps a positive thinking victory yet this person cannot celebrate or saying anything positive about your changes.

Toxic people are very dangerous and you need to evict them from your life if you have them. Even if you have that friend that you've know almost "forever" yet this friend is just a bundle of negativity. You may love them but in the end they may need to go. This is very, very important. You are not and should not be obligated to shoulder someone else's negative view of the world. You cannot allow yourself to carry the burden of someone else's unhappiness.

There are surely people struggling with life and in need of helping hand and unconditional support. I'm not talking about that type of person. Toxic people have a unhealthy sense of satisfaction in seeing others pulled down to where they are living and how they are thinking.

Birds of a feather DO flock together and who you build relationships with DOES matter. You owe it to yourself to evaluate the quality of every relationship you have in your life.

Ask these three questions about the people in your life:

• Do I like them?
• Do I trust them?
• Do I respect them?

If you answer to any of these questions about someone is no, then they've got to go. Team works makes the dream work. You will not and cannot succeed alone. You need to strategically build a strong team of positive thinking individuals that will lift up your dream, support your efforts and encourage your gifts and talents. Success motivation requires that you continually feed your need to succeed. Your relationships play a big part in how you build and maintain your momentum for success and motivation.

Toxic people will only take from you and leave you as an empty shell. The are happiest when they can complain and dump their poison into your life in hopes that you will join. At a minimum that cannot support your efforts for change and success and their natural inclination is to convince you that it isn't worth the effort. See, any progress you make for positive thinking, positive change and success motivation will only highlight their lack of commitment to change and succeed for themselves.

You must demonstrate courage and self-determination by resolving to remove from your life all toxic relationships. You do yourself and disservice by trying to play life too small. Never hide or be discouraged from letting your light shine brightly because it may make someone else feel uncomfortable! If someone feels uncomfortable by your success then that is NOT your problem at all.

A surefire key to accelerated your change and create success in your life is to find mentors and also to build a success team around you that will respect your time, your mind and you all that you desire to do for personal success. You must only submit your dreams and goals to those who's minds and advice you trust. You need people who are certain to have your best interests at heart in all they say and do. You need a group of people that you can also give into as well. You need health two-way team building, dream building communication that encourages you to put for you best each day, to keep reaching for the dream and to always imagine the possibilities!

Check out page 152 of The Power of Focus for more detail on an easy and proven system developing positive and empowering relationships for total success.

Click here to learn more about this series on The Power of Focus.

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© 2004 T. L. Pakii Pierce - Upgrade Your Mind
The Mindset Motivator
"Think Well & Finish Strong!"

November 16, 2004 in Success Motivation | Permalink

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I just said goodbye to one of these toxic people today. This person was once a friend, but this was before I realized that I didn't need "toxic people" in my life. For the last few years, he had been on the other side of the country, but recently he moved back in-state. He had taken to reading and posting on my blog, once he found it.

I finally did what I needed to do years ago, and asked him politely to just go away. He cost me money, energy, friends, jobs, and a home. I don't need him around sapping my energy from a distance. I don't need his criticism on my blog. I'd rather have criticism from a complete stranger than praise from him.

Oddly enough, telling him I no longer cared to have him in my life was like breaking up with a girlfriend. The relationship is over. It's time he realized it. We once were friends. It's time he knew that we aren't anymore.

Now, a weight has been lifted. I've long since moved on from having to tolerate him as a "friend." Now I don't have the energy drain from having him around.

Great post.

Posted by: Lockjaw the Ogre at Nov 16, 2004 10:15:06 PM

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Hey Lockjaw,

Thanks for posting and for sharing your story. We all as some point will have to make that same choice. It always much easier to do when the emotional investment isn't deep and wide. So your reference to it being like breaking up with a girlfriend is certainly poignant.

Good job on making that decision! Sure it was difficult. But as you ultimately realized it was much more difficult for you and the loss of time, energy and resources due to this persons unsupportive actions.

Continued success to you and in building great relationships that provoke you to live life large instead of playing it small. :)

~T. L.

Posted by: Thomas at Nov 16, 2004 10:47:03 PM

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omg...and toxic blogs!!! If only I could block more than 25 :) Thanks for your post. I needed that!

Posted by: laura at Nov 17, 2004 12:47:22 AM

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I appreciate what you are saying about toxic people but what if one of those people is your boss or even your wife/husband ?

Rather than getting rid of them (which may not always be easy) is their a way to 'block' their toxic effects?

Posted by: Doug at Nov 17, 2004 5:33:31 AM

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Hey Doug,

Certain relationships can be complex such as a spouse or employer. Understanding and setting certain boundaries for yourself are one key way to handling toxic people.

Boundaries allow to you set proper expectations how you will handle these situations. At the end of the day it will always be about how YOU react to the reactions of others towards you.

Realizing that are not responsible for the bad behavior of others and no allowing yourself the feel bad and carry that burden will allow you to act from a position of strength, love and confidence.

In the case of a toxic employer...simply change employers. This may be easier said than done of course but when it comes to jobs you are never, ever obligated to work where you don't want to. If you cannot exit a job immediately you must use realistic and plan and exit strategy. Work that plan until you can fire your boss! :)

Regards,

T. L.

Posted by: Thomas at Nov 17, 2004 3:45:51 PM

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I agree that if you have someone in your life that is there to always pull you down. You have to deal with it quickly and decisively. But, I am not sure that would mean, eliminating the relationship. Sure, what you are suggesting would do the trick, you could remove yourself from very negative people but, you may also lose some very important reality checks.

I have at times been with very negative people and have probably been considered that my self from time to time. Learning how to deal with peoples personalities and placing them in the right place of a relationship is not easy. It is demanding work. Often times, you are drained from dealing with them. But, the offer some real perspective at times (some do). I can think of a morning news anchor who to me, seems to be negative all the time but, when he is done, I am usually appreciative of the information that he has offered. And all would have to do in his case is "Turn The Channel"

Don't move to hastily. You could miss on a great reality check.

Posted by: Sean at Nov 18, 2004 12:05:57 PM

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Great post! It is so true.

Posted by: Ann at Nov 18, 2004 4:18:58 PM

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I got rid of one the day after my son was born. I didn't want this man infecting my child.

I refered to him as an "Energy Vampire."

Posted by: Jacqui at Nov 23, 2004 12:23:59 PM

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I recently got away from a TOXIC friendship and have to deal with RUDE and TOXIC people because I work with the public. I have also had toxic bosses and toxic relatives. So, I have experienced lots of toxicity from various people in all walks of life! I'm so glad I'm finally dealing with it in a POSITIVE way by DISTANCING myself from these IGNORANT people! Thank you for allowing me to VENT! Lisa Blackburn

Posted by: Lisa Blackburn at Jul 24, 2006 12:17:44 PM

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Hey Lisa,

Thanks for venting...anytime! :-)

We must realize that we deserve the best of life and the best for ourselves. There is no reason to endure relationships that drain us, distract us and discourage us from higher living.

Some people don't like to see other succeed because the are unhappy with themselves. Until they change there lives won't improve.

In the meantime, those of us who have made the choice for "LIFE!", must move on and not cater to the gloomy, pessimistic and negative personalities around us.

Ultimately, we can choose to go on and build better lives with positive people. You deserve the best...always!

Go for it and I'm glad that you are breaking free from toxic people!

Best to you!

TL

Posted by: T. L. Pakii Pierce at Aug 1, 2006 8:25:27 PM

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What do you do when the toxic people in your life are your own family?

Posted by: Michelle Cosvers at Sep 4, 2006 11:38:59 PM

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I am one of those who endures seemingly inescapable toxicity in the family - that is, my new wife's family. Her ex has made threats against my life, is prone to tantrums and rage, owns and uses weapons - and has joint custody of a wonderful 10-year-old boy I would adopt in a heartbeat if it were possible.

I watch this man and his equally toxic, alcoholic new wife deplete my wife's energy every time they interact - 90% of the time on their terms (surprise visits, midnight voice messages, email). The effects (sleeplessness, worry, nausea, high blood pressure, you name it) remain for days or weeks after every encounter.

Their joint custody agreement requires my wife and her ex to maintain contact indefinitely, which is where the usual strategies for minimizing toxicity break down. He will be in the picture as long as their son is alive.

Any recommendations? We already have sent certified letters asking them not to contact us except in cases of medical emergency involving their son, but they have ignored our requests. Tomorrow I will file a request for a restraining order, but if they are true to pattern, I fear they will ignore that too.

Thanks.

Posted by: Pamela at Feb 25, 2007 1:29:44 PM

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I have found myself searching the internet again for information and enlightenment on toxic people, toxic relationships and abusive relationships.

My marriage ended 5yrs ago, it was violent and abusive, I had counselling and did a lot of work myself.

Recently I returned to a dating and friendship site, and found it to be a toxic waste dump filled with toxic people. Some friends there were going through rough times, but I had just become the person they spilled their toxic waste onto, I felt very drained and tired.

I have left the site, and I feel my engery levels rising. However being a recovering battered wife I have questioned my actions, was I right? Was I justified or was I overreacting.

Reading your article has made me realise, they were toxic people I had to let go, as someone said above me, we were friends, but we are not anymore.

I find it sad that this popular website mainly attracts those toxic people who aren't willing to change, and it is just to uncomfortable for me to be in a place like that now.

Thanks for having your site...has helped me get my own head straight

Posted by: Helen Vanderplas at Feb 28, 2007 5:23:58 PM

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I'm in a seven year relationship with the most toxic person I have ever met in my life! I can't let him go because he will not go. This guy lies about everything, if he told me it is raining outside I would go to the window and check. When I'm around him I'm in an instant bad mood, no energy and depression. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Posted by: Meka at May 1, 2007 11:52:51 AM

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Any suggestions on how to deal with a toxic family member(brother)?I am very close to all my family even him but everything is an argument with him.He's right-your wrong.He's rude,patronizing&snarky.If you call his home he has a way of making you feel like shit(we're eating,sleeping,kids etc).You must respect his home but thinks nothing of barging into yours.I'm tired of leaving his presence feeling bad.He's 40 and should know better I'm fed up
chris

Posted by: chris at May 22, 2007 10:25:33 PM

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Meka, got to leave it! It took a corruption scandal at my job almost giving me a nervous breakdown to finally visit my wonderful doctor, who put me on medical leave for adrenal failure. My hormones were so depleted that the lab processing the tests actually retested my numbers 4 times to make sure they hadn't erred. My endochrine system was shutting down from constantly battling the stress. I literally, physically had no more to give. I am healing (with my doctor's support and that of my family). I feel like I have a second chance at life and am working diligently to get a new job where toxicity is not the norm. Trust your instincts, make the tough changes. Only you can utlimately be responsible for you and your happiness. Good luck, really. I'm pulling for you!!

Posted by: Meg at Jun 19, 2007 7:23:10 PM

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Hello! I am so thrilled to finally have found a site that addresses this MOST needful subject and also allows some venting of victims as well. As for me, I have spent my entire lifetime putting up with the various toxic or worse, Energy/Psychic vampires who stalk, harass, torment, threaten, and are NEVER happy with ANYONE, even when you try to give, love, support, help in every way possible.It literally has taken me over 50 years to finally GET IT; and GET IT, I am ever so glad to declare, I DID!!! Over the last couple of years, my journey has been one of extreme determination to set myself free, at ANY COST from every single one of them, even those who had been in my life for decades. After making every attempt to distance myself gracefully, it became abudantly clear to me, I had to RADICALLY SEVER ALL. After I did that, I was amazed at the level of Peace I finally had within myself and although I am still wounded on some levels, I am confident that in time, I completely heal. There is a wonderful book that assisted me in so many ways: Healthy Selfishness by Drs. Richard & Rachael Heller. I have learned to protect and respect myself from anyone seeking to use, abuse or make me their private beast of burden. If someone gives me that funny feeling inside AT ALL, I cut them off as it usually means the tip of an iceberg you don't want any part of. Better to be 'alone' and at peace than put up with somebody's tainted version of "Love"! Blessings to all on the Journey...

Posted by: Debra at Jul 22, 2007 3:15:20 PM

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Hello! I am so thrilled to finally have found a site that addresses this MOST needful subject and also allows some venting of victims as well. As for me, I have spent my entire lifetime putting up with the various toxic or worse, Energy/Psychic vampires who stalk, harass, torment, threaten, and are NEVER happy with ANYONE, even when you try to give, love, support, help in every way possible.It literally has taken me over 50 years to finally GET IT; and GET IT, I am ever so glad to declare, I DID!!! Over the last couple of years, my journey has been one of extreme determination to set myself free, at ANY COST from every single one of them, even those who had been in my life for decades. After making every attempt to distance myself gracefully, it became abudantly clear to me, I had to RADICALLY SEVER ALL. After I did that, I was amazed at the level of Peace I finally had within myself and although I am still wounded on some levels, I am confident that in time, I completely heal. There is a wonderful book that assisted me in so many ways: Healthy Selfishness by Drs. Richard & Rachael Heller. I have learned to protect and respect myself from anyone seeking to use, abuse or make me their private beast of burden. If someone gives me that funny feeling inside AT ALL, I cut them off as it usually means the tip of an iceberg you don't want any part of. Better to be 'alone' and at peace than put up with somebody's tainted version of "Love"! Blessings to all on the Journey...

Posted by: Debra at Jul 22, 2007 3:24:07 PM

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Lately I have been praying and asking God why my life has no taken off the way I feel that it should have and then a preacher came on tv one night and I got my answer. It is because of all the toxic people in my life. Now I am going over my list of these people and I see how many I have to say goodbye to.

Posted by: sandra at Aug 30, 2007 8:07:29 PM

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My husband's brother's wife has been a problem to me for years, and I'm way past SICK of it. As you can probably tell, she makes me so angry...I don't even care to call her my sister-in-law. This person is extremly toxic, by all difinitions of the word. I have been married into this family for over twenty five years, and she has been a problem ALL twenty five of them. She contantly says hurtful things to ME. And always out of the blue. What she says doesn't even fit into the conversation of what we are talking about...she just blurts things out. Although this is my husband's older brother and his wife (which is older also) they have almost always come to us for money, but yet this woman still puts me AND my husband down, and makes us feel like she is doing us the favor by getting money from us. She almost always manages to insult me, and has the nerve to laugh as she does it, like she is doing absolutely nothing wrong. Just last week, her and her husband came over. Once again, out of the clear blue yonder, this woman up and says to me..."we all know that you have a hidden agenda". Mind you, she slaps me on the leg, smiling and laughing at me all the while she is saying this to me, as if I'm supposed to AGREE with her. Sometimes I think she is more mental, than toxic. It seems that the OLDER she gets, the meaner and worst she gets. Either way, I'm ready to choke the crap out of her.

Posted by: Nette at Oct 11, 2007 8:38:05 AM

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I watched a show called 'Dog Whisperer', and ever since I watched an episode where the host, Ceasar, used the term 'toxic energy', I have been thinking about it, only not in dogs but in people. Other than that I have never heard the term. It occurred to me that my husband was full of toxic energy... He can't allow me to drive a car in peace, he throws insults and nit picks everything I do...He cooks over my shoulder, drives, cleans,,, I have a perfect driving record... he has done this for years and years... I just lived with it. I began to recognize that it's like a sickness, and he always wants to make me feel like I am in the wrong, his deflecting convinced me that it was me... but I am an upbeat happy person,,, the past few days I have been sick with a cold. Not a kind word or a cup of soup here... I hurt my back so badly a few years ago I couldn't walk without nightmarish pain, but still had to care for my own horses and he wouldn't prepare dinner or any chores, I digress, I am sick and have been thinking about this word from the Dog Whisperer, where Ceasar shows the dog shaking and releasing all this toxic energy. It's like poison in their system and they spill it out on to who ever they have that's closest to them. My friends and family and his family don't see this, they don't know how a car trip can turn into such an ordeal that you swear that is the last time you will be trapped with them in a car... this is what I have been thinking about and I just thought well, maybe there are people dealing with toxic people, like me. So I searched it out online, I have stumbled on to a few web pages discussing this subject. I appreciate seeing this site because it's something that I am only beginning to discover that I am married to a toxic person and I need to move on. I am so used to it that it actually makes me happy to think there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Posted by: rene at Nov 21, 2007 10:24:31 PM

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I used to be so compassionate and have deep feelings for people and enjoyed helping. Now, I'm just sick of people and question my own ability to ever feel positive again. I think I'm toxic and negative! I do things for people just to get them away from me.
Mainly, I'm drained and do not have anything left in me.

My sis-in-law who thinks of herself as a 'queen' just got out of the hospital. She asked me to pick her up from the hospital at 12:30pm, after lunch.
So I drove to the hospital and went to her room and she was having a conversation with an ex-boyfriend who was visiting her. She picked at her lunch tray. (Gosh, I hate waiting for her. She dawdles and wastes time on purpose it seems to me.) An hour later, after I dropped off some important paperwork for her across town--I thought for sure she would be ready to leave the hospital when I returned.
She wasn't ready because the doctor had to sign her release papers. So, I sat down on the chair by her bed and listened to her talk about her health issues. I realize she's worried about her health and I do have feelings for her, but listening to her was torture. When she was finally released, she asked me to drive her to the bank, to her doctor's office and to the pharmacy and to another doctor's office who was a specialist she needed to make an appointment with. We finally got to her house and I had to help her manuever an oxygen tank up a hill and to her front door. As soon as
she opens the door, she begins to yell and curse because her 2 grown sons who live with her had accumulated many dirty dishes and they were piled up in the sink. I sat her flowers on the table and rolled up my sleeves and washed the smelly dishes.

Then she asked if I would take her to the supermarket. I thought OMG, that sounds like more torture. My reaction and response was 'not now because my leg and knee were hurting'. 2 days later, I did take her to the supermarket. It was torture like I'd thought it would be.

This woman and I went on vacation to Key West last year and she acted like a big baby the whole time.
I paid for everything including her meals.
I'm not rich and was 'floored' when she called me a couple of days before our flights to Florida and asked to borrow money to pay her rent.
(Her vacation pay would not be available until the next week.)
The whole trip was torture...except when I was taking photographs and ignored her. >>We had another person with us also so she wasn't completely ignored. We got back home and I did not hear from her for 3 months! Then she called and asked to borrow some more money. I lent it her a small amount.

She recently complained that she did not have enough money to pay her rent again. But, she did say that she borrowed money from a friend of hers and paid it back, but someone stole $100. off her bed where she had put 5 twenty dollar bills.

I know she is using me, but I haven't determined if she's purposely manipulating me, lying to me and taking advantage of me. It's so hard to be objective when you've known someone for over 20 years.

And I have another friend who was living with me until last week when he disappeared. He was mad at me for saying hurtful things to him about getting a job. He has not worked for 6 months and I paid $1000. to bail him out of jail 5 months ago for not paying his child support. He helped around the house and fixed my daughter's car, but he has not contributed whatsoever to the food bill or rent or utilities. I finally accused him of not wanting to look for a job. He walked out, but didn't take his clothes and took a bus to his brother's house about 35 miles away and has been on a binge drunk and porn fest. (I don't allow alcohol or porn in my presence.) Anyway, he has been calling and calling and letting the phone ring once and hangs up. I'm not going to respond. I put his bags outside by my back porch.

I feel freedom and relief.

But, I got myself into another situation now. A young man I've known all his life has a pregnant girlfriend who is 9 months along and she had to get to the doctor's office today and they live 15 miles away from the doctor's office and they are broke. I picked them up last night. I bought an air mattress for them to sleep on in my living room and made stir-fry for dinner. I even took a walk last night with them to try to bring on the woman's labor. It didn't help. I took them to the doctor's appointment today and the doctor told them to go to the hospital. He was inducing labor.
I'm going to see the baby and new parents, but can't help but think--here I go again--helping someone and paying for stuff and giving my time to someone who is not concerned about me.

Why do I keep doing this stuff? I'd feel too guilty if someone asked something of me and I said 'no' and then something bad happened to them.

Posted by: Peacecindia at Feb 19, 2008 4:47:18 PM

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I used to be so compassionate and have deep feelings for people and enjoyed helping. Now, I'm just sick of people and question my own ability to ever feel positive again. I think I'm toxic and negative! I do things for people just to get them away from me.
Mainly, I'm drained and do not have anything left in me.

My sis-in-law who thinks of herself as a 'queen' just got out of the hospital. She asked me to pick her up from the hospital at 12:30pm, after lunch.
So I drove to the hospital and went to her room and she was having a conversation with an ex-boyfriend who was visiting her. She picked at her lunch tray. (Gosh, I hate waiting for her. She dawdles and wastes time on purpose it seems to me.) An hour later, after I dropped off some important paperwork for her across town--I thought for sure she would be ready to leave the hospital when I returned.
She wasn't ready because the doctor had to sign her release papers. So, I sat down on the chair by her bed and listened to her talk about her health issues. I realize she's worried about her health and I do have feelings for her, but listening to her was torture. When she was finally released, she asked me to drive her to the bank, to her doctor's office and to the pharmacy and to another doctor's office who was a specialist she needed to make an appointment with. We finally got to her house and I had to help her manuever an oxygen tank up a hill and to her front door. As soon as
she opens the door, she begins to yell and curse because her 2 grown sons who live with her had accumulated many dirty dishes and they were piled up in the sink. I sat her flowers on the table and rolled up my sleeves and washed the smelly dishes.

Then she asked if I would take her to the supermarket. I thought OMG, that sounds like more torture. My reaction and response was 'not now because my leg and knee were hurting'. 2 days later, I did take her to the supermarket. It was torture like I'd thought it would be.

This woman and I went on vacation to Key West last year and she acted like a big baby the whole time.
I paid for everything including her meals.
I'm not rich and was 'floored' when she called me a couple of days before our flights to Florida and asked to borrow money to pay her rent.
(Her vacation pay would not be available until the next week.)
The whole trip was torture...except when I was taking photographs and ignored her. >>We had another person with us also so she wasn't completely ignored. We got back home and I did not hear from her for 3 months! Then she called and asked to borrow some more money. I lent it her a small amount.

She recently complained that she did not have enough money to pay her rent again. But, she did say that she borrowed money from a friend of hers and paid it back, but someone stole $100. off her bed where she had put 5 twenty dollar bills.

I know she is using me, but I haven't determined if she's purposely manipulating me, lying to me and taking advantage of me. It's so hard to be objective when you've known someone for over 20 years.

And I have another friend who was living with me until last week when he disappeared. He was mad at me for saying hurtful things to him about getting a job. He has not worked for 6 months and I paid $1000. to bail him out of jail 5 months ago for not paying his child support. He helped around the house and fixed my daughter's car, but he has not contributed whatsoever to the food bill or rent or utilities. I finally accused him of not wanting to look for a job. He walked out, but didn't take his clothes and took a bus to his brother's house about 35 miles away and has been on a binge drunk and porn fest. (I don't allow alcohol or porn in my presence.) Anyway, he has been calling and calling and letting the phone ring once and hangs up. I'm not going to respond. I put his bags outside by my back porch.

I feel freedom and relief.

But, I got myself into another situation now. A young man I've known all his life has a pregnant girlfriend who is 9 months along and she had to get to the doctor's office today and they live 15 miles away from the doctor's office and they are broke. I picked them up last night. I bought an air mattress for them to sleep on in my living room and made stir-fry for dinner. I even took a walk last night with them to try to bring on the woman's labor. It didn't help. I took them to the doctor's appointment today and the doctor told them to go to the hospital. He was inducing labor.
I'm going to see the baby and new parents, but can't help but think--here I go again--helping someone and paying for stuff and giving my time to someone who is not concerned about me.

Why do I keep doing this stuff? I'd feel too guilty if someone asked something of me and I said 'no' and then something bad happened to them.

Posted by: Peacecindia at Feb 19, 2008 4:48:17 PM

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I'm currently living with a toxic couple with three kids and I live downstairs from them. Each day I wanted to wind down and enjoy the rest of my evening. However, I encountered massive toxidity from the husband (who I actually befriended). He has this dictative loudness about him that causes me to feel uncomfortable and like those of you above, depletes my energy and joy out. Everytime I go to work, he wanted a CD made or wanted to order a movie online and just plain wanted to tag along and just plain talk out of his ass about things I've already known in life and responsibilty. I've seem to be the biggest victim of his constant rantings and idle threats that has caused him to crush my spirit and mind. He does have another friend whose name is withheld at this writing who's all about authority. He "rats" about me of my so-called wrong doing. Just for that, they constatntly repeat the same reminder of why I am here and all and it's getting old really fast.

The truth of the whole matter is this: They're both toxic in their own way and I feel that I've been held hostage. It's like I'm on their probation until hell freezes over. I really wanted so bad to just get out of their environment and move to a different residence that I can really call my own, but every time I tell them how I feel about things in the living quarters I currently reside, they either get angry with me or lecture me for hours on end.

With that note, I still do not feel happy where I stay because of a chain-smoking toxic man who has more mood swings than a Jeckyll and Hyde creature. I need a real solution to escape this mad reality so that I do not need to look back at this. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Posted by: Withheld at Apr 28, 2008 4:27:17 PM

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